12.26.2013

opening the journal: page one... again

Well... this is awkward.



Three years passed faster than I expected. As I read over this old blog, I feel like it doesn't belong to me, yet is vaguely familiar. Like a former life. Or I'm hearing about someone who I would really love to be... until I realize I was her. I threw dinner parties, made fabulous food, and was far too witty for my own good.

I think that girl would recognize me, but it would take more than a sweeping glance. In three years, I've lost a lot of my culinary skills and a bit of my palette. I know my new neighborhood played a role near the beginning of 2011. I came to a part of town thriving with great restaurants, and bumping around in my tiny kitchen seemed less tasty than walking down the street to the bistro.

Little did I know, a year later, I'd made the absurd leap into a doctoral program. Yes, I'm getting a PhD, and it's just as hard as you've heard it is. I can't say it's all-consuming, but Lord knows, I simply stopped having the energy to pour over a filet mignon or kneading out pasta dough for 15 minutes. Don't get me wrong. I still cook, but not nearly at the level that I used to. Most of my mental and emotional energy is tied up in grounded theory rather than ground beef.

Some things stayed the same. I still run. In fact, after that half marathon, I ran two more half marathons and a full marathon. Those Brooks shoes that I showed you finally ran their last mile a few months ago and I got the Ghost 6. They stomp up and down my neighborhood streets regularly. Running is my go-to exercise. It helped me lose a ton of weight that I gained in 2011 and 2012. It still helps me clear my mind. It still makes me feel strong, more than anything else ever has.

The biggest change that the 2010 me would never have guessed... I got married. Yeah, me. The girl who once called herself the funny friend in someone else's romantic comedy became the star of her own. Never thought it would happen to me. Seriously. But miracles happen, my friends. One day he wasn't there and the next day he was. What felt like an impossibility happened very organically.

So, getting to the point, why start this up all over again?

I miss it, truthfully. I haven't blogged on any site for a year and a half. Reading over these old posts, I forgot that I, on occasion, have something to say. Whether anybody wants to hear it or not is debatable. I'd like to return to my corner of the world and share from my heart.

I think I feel the call again to look for good, to point it out, and show it off. This was my place to do that. Back then, what was good was food. It's where I thrived. Now, things are different, and I'm trying to find out where I thrive again. Perhaps, it will be here. We'll see.

~jennifer.

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